Motherhood and Mashed Sweet Potatoes

If someone told me several years ago that I would spend my Saturday night steaming vegetables to make my own baby food, I would not have believed them. In fact, it reminds me of a great line from the "Sex and the City" movie where Carrie is talking with her girlfriends about how different she is in her 40's than she was in her 20's- she says "If I met me now, I wouldn't recognize me" . . . that pretty much sums it up for me. Who knew this would be my life?? Well folks, it is. I do love my new role of mother- but there are days that I pinch myself because I feel like I am not living in "Lindsay's world". Truth is, "Lindsay's world" has become "Lila's world" and it's as simple and as complicated as that. But I digress . . .

Getting back to the veggies. I spent almost 1 1/2 hours steaming and steaming in the kitchen. I steamed carrots, beans, and sweet potatoes. I painstakingly chopped the perfectly mushy veggies into small, choke-free, bite sized pieces (which took twice as long as the actual steaming). I cut small pieces and then decided that they were not small enough and re-cut all of them. All in an effort to teach my lovely daughter to eat real food (not just purees and mashed stuff). I was excited to debut my new food at lunch on Sunday. That's where it all went downhill. Lila had her own idea about my new bites of veggies. As soon as she tried 1 little piece of potato she decided she wanted them mashed instead. Her hands smashed onto the tray and the mashing began. Smashing and mashing my perfectly steamed, precisely cut bites. It was funny to watch, but inside I felt kind of irritated. Didn't she know that I spent my Saturday night lovingly cooking and cutting so she could learn how to eat real food without choking? Didn't she know that I cut them all twice so she didn't choke and that it would have taken half the time to mash them instead? Didn't she know that I used to spend my weekends traveling, and eating out in the city and having cocktails with friends till all hours of the night?? And now, here I sit, in front of the Fisher Price Space Saver highchair watching my vegetable masterpiece being destroyed by mini-me. If she wasn't so darn cute with those orange coated hands and face, I might have burst into tears.

Lesson learned- motherhood sometimes pushes you to the edge. Sometimes you want to laugh and cry at the same time, for no apparent reason. And while mourning the loss of my former self and my former life, I have discovered the greatest joy of all . . .and it sounds something like this-

Sorry- I can't figure out how to turn the video right side up- but it's the sound effects that are important this time! Enjoy.