What a difference a year makes . . .

This is where I spent my July 16, 2008 . . . in the Labor and Delivery Wing of Bryn Mawr Hospital. When I say July 16th, I mean all of July 16th- from 9AM and well into July 17th until I graduated to the Maternity Floor around 9 AM July 17th. Boy was that one long day.

Looking at these pictures brought back so many memories, and I remember everything about those few days I spent at the hospital as I got to meet my baby girl for the first time. So I decided to start the B-day post a little early and let you know a few of my memories from 365 days ago.

I remember having this picture taken - and I was in pretty good spirits, judging by the smile. I had just taken a shower (which was a welcome change from the hall walking, gettting examined and poked at, and being strapped to monitors). I remember that the shower was amazing and I even had a chair in there in case I needed to rest during a contraction- how handy- those nurses sure knew what they were doing. I think I was texting friends when this picture was taken- filling them in on the labor progress (slow- that's for sure), my pain (not too bad yet- but not really fun either) and when I thought she would arrive (I thought it would be a few hours- Boy was I wrong there!!!)

This picture, on the otherhand, I do not remember. And for someone who remembers almost everything, that's strange. I'm guessing Ian snapped it on his way back from one of his runs to the caffeteria. I do remember being terrified that he would miss something by eating down in the caffeteria (once again, wrong) so he brought his tray up here and ate with me. I was starving, as you may guess, since the last food to enter my mouth was a baked potato at 8:00 AM. (why did I have that for breakfast- it was a suggestion from my childbirth class nurse- who I loved- so I took her advice and pre-baked a few to keep in the fridge to have handy when those first contractions started. I know, crazy- but I did just about everything by the book during my pregnancy- so why not finish up strong??) I remember him eating at that little desk, facing the wall, so he didn't tempt me with the food. I also remember ordering him not to bring back anything that smelled to strong or weird- I felt crappy enough without a labor and delivery room filled with the scent of fried onions.

I remember this picture. I also remember uttering something similar to "I don't think I can even smile anymore- so just take the picture already!" to my excited husband who was snapping away. How fun to be the husband in the labor room?? Not so fun I think- If I had to guess, I would say "its a strange mix of belonging there and feeling out of place and of wanting to be there and wanting to escape". At least that was my deduction from observing my husband doring our nearly 24 hours in the labor room.

Fast forward to July 16, 2009 . . .

What a difference a year makes . . . tonight I type this message in the comfort of my own home with an amazing little girl fast asleep in her crib upstairs. A year ago, I couldn't have come close to knowing the love, joy and true peace that I feel in my heart as a mother. I couldn't imagine that I would love someone who I have only know 1 short year, more than I've probably ever loved anything before. But you never know until it happens to you . . . you just never understand. Having a child is a true miracle and life's greatest blessing. And it is a blessing and responsibility that I take very seriously (maybe sometimes too seriously)- because so many people never get their chance to experience it. So tonight, I thank God for choosing me to be Lila's mom and I intend to spend my entire life trying to prove that I am worthy of the gift of this amazing girl.